This Is Me

Lets see where should I start? My name is Dariana Grace. My life is a furious ball of crazy emotions, and roller coaster rides. haha Not really but, at least I had you going for a second.

Lets start with my recent encounter. So growing up, my best friend, Steph and I were inseparable. Eventually as most friends do, we drifted apart. (Save that story for later) However, her parents became quite the second set of parents to me. I’m not going to lie, I was your typical angry teenager, with one difference. I didn’t do drugs, I wasn’t having sex, and I had ambitions because I watched my big bro, and my first love go down that spiraling path. (Ahh! my first love. An imprint i’ll never quite forget)

You see, I was a military brat, and the biggest daddies girl anyone could be. When dad retired, we moved back to his hometown, and well…. Things went south for me after that move. I sure didn’t let mom or dad hear the end of it either. I hated it! It just wasn’t MY home.

Anyhow, back to my best friend. As we grew she became more vain, whereas my hardships changed me into a wiser human being. I’m talking eighteen layers of make up kinda vain. I can’t get that girl to talk, hang out, or speak to me even if it could save my life. she likes to compete with anything that can move. It irks  me. I just want a real friend. doesn’t everyone?

I visited her parents, and well.. what started out as a great visit. wait… lets rewind.. (Didn’t I tell you something about roller coasters and furious rides.)  I don’t have parents now. I am looking for that support. i’m not finding it in friends, or family. Guidance is all i’m asking for. This visit was going great until, that third beer hit her fathers system. I remember watching the turmoil they all went though in my younger days, while watching their dad change through his consumption. After those beers kicked in, he started criticizing me, insulting me, and treating me as though i’m  a screw up with no hope.

Well wait just one fucking minute right there! Your raising your daughters first born child for her, your supporting her and her other two kids, and you want to tell me… that this knowledge I have about life, my experiences, my responsibility for ALL of my children, My lone struggles, trying to make it in this world without parents, or support. That the couple who has NO HELP! is a FUCKING SCREW UP!!  Why is anyone even deemed to speak such nonsense to another. This man who has only known me for a sliver of my life, when I was a hormonal preteen, has decided that based on that girl he barely knew, i’m a screw up.

He took in his third beer, with two slams i could tell he was starting to feel great. He started in, “Well what the fuck! are you trying to compete with Steph and have more kids then her or what?” “What do you mean?” I ask. “What because she had kids you had to have more?” there’s no competition in life.” I stated confidently.

I watched hip sip on his fourth beer. He placed the can on the coffee table with force. “Your parents didn’t do a good job raising you.” He stated so as a matter a factually. I stared at him with silence. knowing he was belligerent like fuck! He has no clue what my parents did or didn’t do right. A grown man still immature to the world. I’m sorry I didn’t realize being a good parents meant coddling your children so when they grow up, you can raise their children for them.   apparently my parents raised me well enough to survive without them. isn’t that the point.

I countered, “I’m pretty sure my parents did right by me.” I’m here, doing it on my own and do you see me complaining?” My ex best friends mother stared at me empathetic understanding, i’m sure shes used to his behavior by now. I love her mom. she’s always been the coolest woman outside of my mother, but after thirty minutes of lashing, and criticism, I decided it was time to leave. I may not have been immature enough to say my lengthy words, but I was wise enough to know this man was incompetent. As of today, i’m not so sure i’ll visit again. Noi one insults my fathers existence without leaving a bitter taste in my might.

This is me… Signing out

To be continued……

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